Thursday, March 24, 2011
The Love of a Big Sister
I know I've mentioned this before, but this little girl LOVES this little baby. More than any of the other kids, Sara is the one that is always asking to hold Owen. She's the one who is always quick to jump in and play with him when she hears him cry. She just has this really strong bond with him, and I love watching them together.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Battle of the Bulge
Battle? War, really. And I'm losing miserably. I'm obsessed with losing weight, and I'll be the first to admit that it's very unhealthy. But I can't help it. That's the thing with obsessions, they are almost always compulsive. I know that I'm supposed to "love the skin I'm in" and that "it's what's on the inside that really counts", but seriously, who really believes that. I bet if you asked 100 women if they thought they'd look better if they shed a few pounds, 99 of them would answer "yes". I mean, think about it--when someone goes on a diet and loses weight, all her friends gush to her, "You look great!" or "All your hard work is paying off, you look amazing!". When was the last time you heard someone say, "You've put on a few pounds--way to go!" or "Look how much more prominent you fat rolls are--you look great!".
And I know I just had a baby. And yes, I've lost all the weight I gained in this last pregnancy, but it's not enough for me. I wish it was, but it's not. My friend had a baby 2 months ago, and has only lost 4 of the 50 pounds that she gained in her pregnancy. And you know what--no one cares! Because she just had a baby and no one expects her to be skinny right away. So why do I expect that of myself? Once again--obsession.
I have given birth to 6 children in 9 years, had 3 miscarriages accompanied with short bouts of depression and hormone swings, developed Thyroid problems, and was born with lousy genetics (the Sorensens are not small people). I mean, who can beat all that? I should be perfectly happy in my size 12 jeans. But I want to be a size 10. And when I'm a size 10, I'll want to be a size 8 (which I haven't been since Jr. High). Why?
The biggest frustration is that I lost so much weight after Owen was born, and then I just stopped losing. I gained 21 pounds in my pregnancy and had lost 32 pounds by my 6 week check-up. Great, right? And I wasn't even trying that hard. I mean, I'm always really careful of what I eat, but I wasn't even exercising yet. And now, 3 months later, I'm up 5 pounds and can't figure out why, because I'm doing everything I can to lose weight. I think it's my Thyroid. I went in to my Endocrinologist in February, and she adjusted my medicine back down to pre-pregnancy dosing. And now I can't eat anything without gaining weight. I have to cut my daily calories down to just 1000 in order to lose weight. If I eat anything more, I gain. It's so frustrating! I do really well on my 1000 calorie diet for a few days, then the hunger gets to me and I have to eat, and I immediately gain back anything I've lost plus more. And it's not like I'm eating unhealthy, either. I can't have dairy, which means I'm not eating pizza, ice cream, chocolate, cheese, etc. I'm eating extremely healthy, but if I'm not starving myself, I just gain weight. And through all of this, I'm trying to nurse Owen, so I know that I really shouldn't be restricting calories, but...I'm obsessed.
So, even though I'm exhausted all the time from trying to keep up with the laundry, the house work, and the kids, I've started running again. My day starts at 7 usually (with feeding Owen, then getting kids off to school), and I'm too tired to get up at 6am to go running. So I have been going for a run either while Scott is home for lunch, or as soon as he gets home in the evening. And starting next week, I'm going to have a girl in our neighborhood (who is off track from college for the next few weeks) come over 10-11 M/W/F so I can go out running. I'm hoping it will help. Even if I don't lose weight, I'll hopefully feel better knowing that I'm doing everything I can. And hopefully when I go in for my next Thyroid check, I can convince my doctor to increase my medication again. And HOPEFULLY I can learn to just be happy with the way that I am.
And I know I just had a baby. And yes, I've lost all the weight I gained in this last pregnancy, but it's not enough for me. I wish it was, but it's not. My friend had a baby 2 months ago, and has only lost 4 of the 50 pounds that she gained in her pregnancy. And you know what--no one cares! Because she just had a baby and no one expects her to be skinny right away. So why do I expect that of myself? Once again--obsession.
I have given birth to 6 children in 9 years, had 3 miscarriages accompanied with short bouts of depression and hormone swings, developed Thyroid problems, and was born with lousy genetics (the Sorensens are not small people). I mean, who can beat all that? I should be perfectly happy in my size 12 jeans. But I want to be a size 10. And when I'm a size 10, I'll want to be a size 8 (which I haven't been since Jr. High). Why?
The biggest frustration is that I lost so much weight after Owen was born, and then I just stopped losing. I gained 21 pounds in my pregnancy and had lost 32 pounds by my 6 week check-up. Great, right? And I wasn't even trying that hard. I mean, I'm always really careful of what I eat, but I wasn't even exercising yet. And now, 3 months later, I'm up 5 pounds and can't figure out why, because I'm doing everything I can to lose weight. I think it's my Thyroid. I went in to my Endocrinologist in February, and she adjusted my medicine back down to pre-pregnancy dosing. And now I can't eat anything without gaining weight. I have to cut my daily calories down to just 1000 in order to lose weight. If I eat anything more, I gain. It's so frustrating! I do really well on my 1000 calorie diet for a few days, then the hunger gets to me and I have to eat, and I immediately gain back anything I've lost plus more. And it's not like I'm eating unhealthy, either. I can't have dairy, which means I'm not eating pizza, ice cream, chocolate, cheese, etc. I'm eating extremely healthy, but if I'm not starving myself, I just gain weight. And through all of this, I'm trying to nurse Owen, so I know that I really shouldn't be restricting calories, but...I'm obsessed.
So, even though I'm exhausted all the time from trying to keep up with the laundry, the house work, and the kids, I've started running again. My day starts at 7 usually (with feeding Owen, then getting kids off to school), and I'm too tired to get up at 6am to go running. So I have been going for a run either while Scott is home for lunch, or as soon as he gets home in the evening. And starting next week, I'm going to have a girl in our neighborhood (who is off track from college for the next few weeks) come over 10-11 M/W/F so I can go out running. I'm hoping it will help. Even if I don't lose weight, I'll hopefully feel better knowing that I'm doing everything I can. And hopefully when I go in for my next Thyroid check, I can convince my doctor to increase my medication again. And HOPEFULLY I can learn to just be happy with the way that I am.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
What it's Really Like Around Here
I feel like I get in a habit of only reporting the the good or big things around here. The small or not so pleasant things kind of get skipped over. But, since this is our family journal, occasionally I need to report on those things so I remember them. Yesterday was one of those days...
First there was visiting teaching, and I had to wake up 3 little boys to go. It was rainy and cold, and not a good day to be out. Owen had just fallen asleep 15 minutes before I had to wake him up to go, and he was not happy about it. I spent the whole 2 hours of visiting teaching standing and bouncing a fussy baby.
I came home at noon to a kitchen that still needed cleaned from the night before, and laundry all over my living room floor that needed put away. For home evening the night before, we had taken the kids grocery shopping for the food bank (it's our ward's month to fill the food bank), so the housework hadn't gotten done. Scott and I went and answered phones for the Idaho Public Television telethon last night, and his mom came to babysit for us. So, I really wanted to get my house clean for her to come to. I went to work on the kitchen and got halfway through the laundry, then decided I had to take a nap. I rarely take naps. In the four months since Owen was born, I've taken maybe 4 naps. But, I was so exhausted yesterday, that I had to lie down for just half an hour. Owen was asleep, the kids were all playing nicely upstairs, so it was my only chance to get some rest in.
Twenty minutes later I woke to Sara saying, "Mom, there's poop on Nate's blanket!". Nate had been wearing a pull-up and no pants and had been playing upstairs when he pooped. Then he sat on the stairs and slid down on his bum. Then he came in and sat in my chair with his blanket, which is where Sara had discovered the poop. I jumped into action and got the chair cleaned and blanket thrown in the washing machine. I heard Sara yell, "Eww, there's poop on the stairs, too!". I looked at the stairs and saw a line of poop on the carpet down every stair, where he had slid down. Just then Owen woke up hungry and mad. I fixed a bottle and fed him, then asked Sara to hold Owen while I shampooed the stairs. I got my Bissel out and spent the next 20 minutes cleaning the carpet on my long flight of stairs. As I got to the top and turned it off, I heard Owen crying (really, really crying). I went down to my room where Sara was holding him, and she was just sitting there while he screamed. It took quite a while for me to get him settled down, and then we was very needy the rest of the day.
Now I need to backtrack to the day before (Monday). Just after Aaron had woken up (and before Nate was up), I went upstairs to gather laundry. In the middle of the boys' room, my foot stepped in something wet. I bent down to examine it, and realized it was a big puddle of pee. I got a towel and soaked up as much as I could. Then I went down to confront Aaron. He was still in his pajamas and they were dry, so it didn't take much for my mind to paint a picture of what had happened. He had climbed out of bed, and instead of running to the bathroom, he had pulled down his pants and used his bedroom carpet as a toilet. Gross! I asked him about it, and he said, "Well, I really needed to go." I told him that if he ever did that again he would be sitting on the couch in time out the entire day, and that if he needed to go to the bathroom, then he needed to run as fast as he could to get there, that it's never ok to pee on the carpet.
Now back to yesterday. After I was done with the stairs, and after I got Owen calmed down and finally to sleep, I used the Bissel in the boys' room. As soon as the hot water from the Bissel hit the carpet, the whole room wreaked of pee. I'm sure this was not the only time that Aaron has peed on the carpet. I cleaned it as well as I could yesterday, and plan on going over it again today. But, my whole afternoon was spent cleaning carpets instead of doing all the other cleaning that needed done. I had to just do the best I could and hope that the house wasn't too embarrassingly messy for Scott's mom to see.
In addition to dealing with bodily functions all over my house, I still am fighting Thrush. Yes, still. I waited till after pictures on Saturday before starting up the Gentian Violet again. And now everything is purple once again. It is improving, and I have hopes that it will be better soon.
I would love to say that yesterday's events are a rarity around here, but they actually are the norm. I'm so used to it that it rarely phases me. That's sad, isn't it? Yesterday was just worse because I was so tired and was trying so hard to have things looking nice before evening. I'm sure that 10 years from now, I'll read this and laugh. But now I get to go shampoo more carpet (I'm hoping that the second time will be the charm at getting the pee smell gone from the boys' room).
First there was visiting teaching, and I had to wake up 3 little boys to go. It was rainy and cold, and not a good day to be out. Owen had just fallen asleep 15 minutes before I had to wake him up to go, and he was not happy about it. I spent the whole 2 hours of visiting teaching standing and bouncing a fussy baby.
I came home at noon to a kitchen that still needed cleaned from the night before, and laundry all over my living room floor that needed put away. For home evening the night before, we had taken the kids grocery shopping for the food bank (it's our ward's month to fill the food bank), so the housework hadn't gotten done. Scott and I went and answered phones for the Idaho Public Television telethon last night, and his mom came to babysit for us. So, I really wanted to get my house clean for her to come to. I went to work on the kitchen and got halfway through the laundry, then decided I had to take a nap. I rarely take naps. In the four months since Owen was born, I've taken maybe 4 naps. But, I was so exhausted yesterday, that I had to lie down for just half an hour. Owen was asleep, the kids were all playing nicely upstairs, so it was my only chance to get some rest in.
Twenty minutes later I woke to Sara saying, "Mom, there's poop on Nate's blanket!". Nate had been wearing a pull-up and no pants and had been playing upstairs when he pooped. Then he sat on the stairs and slid down on his bum. Then he came in and sat in my chair with his blanket, which is where Sara had discovered the poop. I jumped into action and got the chair cleaned and blanket thrown in the washing machine. I heard Sara yell, "Eww, there's poop on the stairs, too!". I looked at the stairs and saw a line of poop on the carpet down every stair, where he had slid down. Just then Owen woke up hungry and mad. I fixed a bottle and fed him, then asked Sara to hold Owen while I shampooed the stairs. I got my Bissel out and spent the next 20 minutes cleaning the carpet on my long flight of stairs. As I got to the top and turned it off, I heard Owen crying (really, really crying). I went down to my room where Sara was holding him, and she was just sitting there while he screamed. It took quite a while for me to get him settled down, and then we was very needy the rest of the day.
Now I need to backtrack to the day before (Monday). Just after Aaron had woken up (and before Nate was up), I went upstairs to gather laundry. In the middle of the boys' room, my foot stepped in something wet. I bent down to examine it, and realized it was a big puddle of pee. I got a towel and soaked up as much as I could. Then I went down to confront Aaron. He was still in his pajamas and they were dry, so it didn't take much for my mind to paint a picture of what had happened. He had climbed out of bed, and instead of running to the bathroom, he had pulled down his pants and used his bedroom carpet as a toilet. Gross! I asked him about it, and he said, "Well, I really needed to go." I told him that if he ever did that again he would be sitting on the couch in time out the entire day, and that if he needed to go to the bathroom, then he needed to run as fast as he could to get there, that it's never ok to pee on the carpet.
Now back to yesterday. After I was done with the stairs, and after I got Owen calmed down and finally to sleep, I used the Bissel in the boys' room. As soon as the hot water from the Bissel hit the carpet, the whole room wreaked of pee. I'm sure this was not the only time that Aaron has peed on the carpet. I cleaned it as well as I could yesterday, and plan on going over it again today. But, my whole afternoon was spent cleaning carpets instead of doing all the other cleaning that needed done. I had to just do the best I could and hope that the house wasn't too embarrassingly messy for Scott's mom to see.
In addition to dealing with bodily functions all over my house, I still am fighting Thrush. Yes, still. I waited till after pictures on Saturday before starting up the Gentian Violet again. And now everything is purple once again. It is improving, and I have hopes that it will be better soon.
I would love to say that yesterday's events are a rarity around here, but they actually are the norm. I'm so used to it that it rarely phases me. That's sad, isn't it? Yesterday was just worse because I was so tired and was trying so hard to have things looking nice before evening. I'm sure that 10 years from now, I'll read this and laugh. But now I get to go shampoo more carpet (I'm hoping that the second time will be the charm at getting the pee smell gone from the boys' room).
Daylight Savings
Daylight Savings has really thrown my kids off in their sleeping schedule. Owen used to get up to nurse from 7-8, then the school kids got up at 8 and were out the door at 8:50, and then the little boys would get up around 9:30. Well, now that's all been adjusted by an hour.
Now Owen wakes up at 8 and needs to eat while I need to be getting the school kids up and ready. It's a little tricky. Yesterday I had to go visiting teacher at 10. I waited as long as possible before going up to wake up Nate and Aaron. When I got to their room, they were still sound asleep. It took some effort to get Nate to wake up, but he finally did. Then I stood up to the top bunk to wake up Aaron. He rolled over to look at me through squinted eyes and said (rather annoyed), "Mom, can't you see I'm trying to sleep here?". I'm sure we'll all adjust eventually, but so far this week it's been pretty rough.
Now Owen wakes up at 8 and needs to eat while I need to be getting the school kids up and ready. It's a little tricky. Yesterday I had to go visiting teacher at 10. I waited as long as possible before going up to wake up Nate and Aaron. When I got to their room, they were still sound asleep. It took some effort to get Nate to wake up, but he finally did. Then I stood up to the top bunk to wake up Aaron. He rolled over to look at me through squinted eyes and said (rather annoyed), "Mom, can't you see I'm trying to sleep here?". I'm sure we'll all adjust eventually, but so far this week it's been pretty rough.
Tractors
Work has finally begun on the road that is going in behind our house. Most people on our street are not happy that they are going to have a road running behind their houses, but I don't really care. We already have a busy road on one side of our house, so a non-busy road on another side doesn't really phase me. What does excite me is that they are burying the canal behind our house. That canal has scared me since the day we moved in. They have to bury it for the road to go in, so it will no longer be a danger to my kids. Water is just such an attractant. Most kids are scared of a noisy busy street, but can't resist the urge to throw rocks into water.
On Monday the big equipment rolled into the field behind our house. The boys noticed the giant excavator's arm over our fence, and ran to our upstairs window to get a better look. I decided this was worth getting a closer look, so I bundled the three boys up and we walked up our hill and around to where they were working. I kept them at a safe distance, and we just sat and watched the work. The giant excavator was digging dirt out of the canal, then loading it into a dump truck, then the dump truck took the dirt to the opposite side of the field and dumped it. The boys were fascinated. We went back to our house when Sara came home from Kindergarten. Then loaded up camp chairs and grabbed little bags of chips for the kids, and went back up to watch. It was so cute to see the kids lounging in their chairs, munching on Doritos, watching in awe as the "tractors" worked. Oh, the simple joys of life when you are a little boy!
On Monday the big equipment rolled into the field behind our house. The boys noticed the giant excavator's arm over our fence, and ran to our upstairs window to get a better look. I decided this was worth getting a closer look, so I bundled the three boys up and we walked up our hill and around to where they were working. I kept them at a safe distance, and we just sat and watched the work. The giant excavator was digging dirt out of the canal, then loading it into a dump truck, then the dump truck took the dirt to the opposite side of the field and dumped it. The boys were fascinated. We went back to our house when Sara came home from Kindergarten. Then loaded up camp chairs and grabbed little bags of chips for the kids, and went back up to watch. It was so cute to see the kids lounging in their chairs, munching on Doritos, watching in awe as the "tractors" worked. Oh, the simple joys of life when you are a little boy!
4 Months
Last week I took Owen in for his 4 month check up. He is now 15 pounds 15 ounces and 26 1/4 inches long. He is in the 75% for weight, 85% for length, and 90% for head. When you look at him, all you see is this big round, chubby cheeked head, so he looks really chubby. But, he's really not (his weight was the lowest of the three percentiles). He's a healthy baby, for which we are grateful.
On Saturday I took Owen in to get pictures taken. I dressed the other kids up too so I could get a picture of them all together. We ended up doing together pictures and individual pictures of all the kids. And Scott and I jumped in and got a family picture, too. I get to pick up the cd of pictures on Friday, and then I'll post them all.
On Saturday I took Owen in to get pictures taken. I dressed the other kids up too so I could get a picture of them all together. We ended up doing together pictures and individual pictures of all the kids. And Scott and I jumped in and got a family picture, too. I get to pick up the cd of pictures on Friday, and then I'll post them all.
Sunday, March 06, 2011
Aaron
Last Sunday Aaron had a hard time in primary. He was just having an off day, and did not want to behave for his teachers. So, after church, he drew an "I'm Sorry" card and we walked it over to his teachers' house. His teachers are an adorable grandma and grandpa who have endless patience. They gave Aaron a hug and thanked him for being Aaron, and Aaron promised them he would try and do better the next week.
So today as Sacrament ended, and I told Aaron it was time to go to primary, he decided to lie down and roll down the hall instead of walking reverently to primary. Scott scooped him up and sat him down on a table in the hall so we could talk to him. I reminded him how bed he felt last week that he made his teachers sad because he was naughty. And I reminded him that he promised he was going to be good for them this week. He looked at me and said, "I promised I would TRY!" (emphasis on the try). Scott and I looked at each other and tried to stifle a laugh. Here was this little boy (who I just adore) who just has so much energy bound up inside him, that even he recognized that he may not be able to be good the whole time, and that TRYING was the best he could do.
I'm happy to report that as far as I know, his TRYING was successful. Way to go Aaron.
So today as Sacrament ended, and I told Aaron it was time to go to primary, he decided to lie down and roll down the hall instead of walking reverently to primary. Scott scooped him up and sat him down on a table in the hall so we could talk to him. I reminded him how bed he felt last week that he made his teachers sad because he was naughty. And I reminded him that he promised he was going to be good for them this week. He looked at me and said, "I promised I would TRY!" (emphasis on the try). Scott and I looked at each other and tried to stifle a laugh. Here was this little boy (who I just adore) who just has so much energy bound up inside him, that even he recognized that he may not be able to be good the whole time, and that TRYING was the best he could do.
I'm happy to report that as far as I know, his TRYING was successful. Way to go Aaron.
Friday, March 04, 2011
Again
We made it through the weekend without anyone else getting sick, so I thought we were in the clear. But then yesterday morning Nate threw up. He spent the entire day with his big bowl clutched in his hand (in case he needed to throw up again). He didn't throw up again, but he did spend the entire day in my bed falling in and out of sleep. I could tell he didn't feel well, because he was sleeping so much. But by last night he was feeling better again. Let's hope he's the last one to get sick.
I found myself having a flashback to a month ago. Remember how I was dealing with thrush AND Nate threw up on my kitchen floor? Well, along with Nate throwing up yesterday, we are also dealing with Thrush. AGAIN! It was completely gone for a week, and then it came back. First in me, and then in Owen. So I'm back to taking an assortment of herbs and am so frustrated that I'm dealing with this again. I'm hopeful that I'll be able to kick it quickly this time, since I know exactly what finally worked last time. This time I'll keep taking the stuff for a week after it's gone just to make sure that it's really GONE. Thankfully, this time around, Owen seems unaffected by it. He has a white mouth, but he's not fussy or refusing to nurse like he was last time.
Now for some fun random pictures. The other night we had the coolest sunset. It had rained all day, and the sky was dark with clouds. The sun was going down, and the sky was getting dark, but the sun was reflecting off the clouds and lighting up things on the ground. It was kind of eerie looking--the fence was literally glowing. Scott took some pictures--they don't do it justice, but are still pretty cool looking.
I found myself having a flashback to a month ago. Remember how I was dealing with thrush AND Nate threw up on my kitchen floor? Well, along with Nate throwing up yesterday, we are also dealing with Thrush. AGAIN! It was completely gone for a week, and then it came back. First in me, and then in Owen. So I'm back to taking an assortment of herbs and am so frustrated that I'm dealing with this again. I'm hopeful that I'll be able to kick it quickly this time, since I know exactly what finally worked last time. This time I'll keep taking the stuff for a week after it's gone just to make sure that it's really GONE. Thankfully, this time around, Owen seems unaffected by it. He has a white mouth, but he's not fussy or refusing to nurse like he was last time.
Now for some fun random pictures. The other night we had the coolest sunset. It had rained all day, and the sky was dark with clouds. The sun was going down, and the sky was getting dark, but the sun was reflecting off the clouds and lighting up things on the ground. It was kind of eerie looking--the fence was literally glowing. Scott took some pictures--they don't do it justice, but are still pretty cool looking.
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