Saturday was better, but I felt like I was completely starting over on my healing process. The flu completely wiped me out, and I had to start all over on rebuilding my energy back up. Saturday afternoon my parents left to go back to Aberdeen. Luckily, I have a really great husband who helps out around the house and with the kids. I don't know how I would survive without him. The kids have been great, too. They fight over who gets to hold Owen. As soon as he makes the tiniest little noise, one of them is at his side to give him a pacifier or hold his hand or talk to him. Nate is the one who is having a hard time. He wants to be the baby still. I've caught him so many times in Owen's swing with a pacifier in his mouth (Nate's a thumb sucker, but has been trying out the pacifier so he can be like Owen). I even caught him in Owen's crib, trying to be like Owen. Nate cries a lot and I can tell he feels really displaced. And yet he seems to really love Owen, even if he is jealous of him. The other day while I took a shower, Nate talked to Owen in his swing the entire time. This morning while I showered, Nate laid next to Owen on the bed and sang him songs the whole time.
Sara has been great, too. She loves that she's the oldest one home in the afternoons. Yesterday I was trying to get some cleaning done upstairs. I started in the girls' room, so I put Owen on Sara's bed while I cleaned. He started to fuss, so I sent Sara downstairs to get his pacifier. She came back and laid down next to Owen and put his pacifier in his mouth, held his hand, and started talking to him. He instantly was happy. She stayed there for 45 minutes, just lying next to him and taking care of him. I told her several times that she could go do something else if she wanted, but she wanted to stay with her little brother. It was so sweet.
We are all trying to adjust to having a new baby in our home. Scott went back to work on Monday, and although the house is a mess, I find that I am surviving on my own. I spend most of my time sitting and nursing Owen. I had forgotten just how time consuming a nursing baby is. But, the kids are very patient about it and have become rather resourceful at getting themselves food when they are hungry. I'm trying to cherish this time with Owen. It breaks my heart that this is my last baby. I'm having a really hard time accepting that this is it. I know I have to be done at some point, but a part of me wishes I could just keep on having babies forever. I assured Scott I wouldn't try and talk him into another baby, but that he had to be understanding about the fact that I'm really struggling with this being it. I just know that this time is going to pass all too quickly, so I'm trying to savor every minute.
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