"The Out-of-Sync Child"

I finished reading my first book about Sensory Processing Disorder, "The Out-of-Sync Child" by Carol Kranowitz. It was so helpful. I feel like I understand Aaron so much better now. I watch him and I see his SPD in everything he does, and I think to myself, "How did I not see this before?" But I just didn't know what to look for. There was one part I want to remember, so I wanted to write it down. Probably one of the best words to describe Aaron, is stubborn. He always has been stubborn. Sometimes that's a good thing, and sometimes it drives me crazy. But after reading this, it softened me:

"Your child's "hardheadedness" is a survival skill. Perhaps he is rigid, always wanting to wear the same clothes and eat the same cereal in the same bowl....Redirect your thinking: Nobody awakens in the morning thinking, "Today I'm going to resist everything." Human beings learn to cope with a changing environment by being flexible. Your little fellow appears stubborn, however, because he is not the boss of his own body, and he is not in control. His life is full of uncertainties and obstacles....Sameness and rituals are tools that help him accomplish basic jobs, like getting dressed or preparing for bed. His apparent stubbornness is rooted in his need to survive. He isn't willfully stubborn; he is stubborn because he has trouble adapting his behavior to meet changing demands, so he sticks to what he knows will work."

After educating myself about Aaron's condition, I find myself a lot more patient with him. I am much more compassionate toward him, knowing the things he struggles with. And I don't feel like such a failure as a mother, knowing that his behavior is not just a result of "lack of discipline". And I feel like we are really making progress with him.

A few weeks ago at church, he was rolling around on the floor in Sacrament meeting. I tried to get him to sit up in his chair, but he wouldn't get off the floor. I picked him up to take him out to the foyer. He went limp, and I had to drag him out of the chapel. I got him to a chair in the foyer and sat him in it. He wiggled out of the chair down onto the floor. I was pretty frustrated with him, as I tried to reason with him that in church we have to sit and be reverent. He looked at me and said, "Mom, my body just doesn't want to hold still today". It was like a light bulb had gone off for the both of us. I suddenly realized that he had just been able to vocalize exactly what was going on inside his body. I looked him straight in the eye, and said, "I understand. Let's go fix that." We found a classroom that was empty, and I had him do jumping jacks, cartwheels, crab walks, and pushups. And when he was exhausted (after about 5 minutes), we went back to the chapel and he sat quietly in his chair for the rest of Sacrament meeting.

I was so relieved that I finally understood Aaron, and that he was finally starting to understand too. His brain needed physical activity, his body was screaming out for sensory intake, and he couldn't make that go away until he satisfied that need.

I don't feel like I have all of the answers, and still feel like I have no idea what I'm doing most of the time when it comes to "helping" him. But I do feel like there is a glimmer of hope--times like at church when I do actually "get it". I really do feel like we are all going to be all right in the end.